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Psychologists use the term “imago”, Latin for “image”, to refer to the unconscious image that people develop from birth of their ideal mate or significant other. A dictionary definition of “imago” includes the following meanings: the representation of a person or a thing, a copy, a likeness and a mental picture. Essentially, it is a composite picture of the individuals who influenced a person the most during childhood.

People rely on their imago in their search for an ideal mate, someone who both resembles their primary caretakers and compensates for the repressed parts of themselves. This can be ones’ parents, one or two siblings, a close relative, or a babysitter. The important thing is that a persons’ brain records everything about them – the way they responded to ones’ cries, the sound of their voice, their emotions, their moods, the way they moved, the way they laughed or got angry, everything. In addition to these impressions, the brain also recorded every significant interaction with them. This data was merely stored in the brain and not interpreted, very much like downloading files onto a hard drive.

Many people have difficulty believing that their brain has recorded so much information, especially from such as early age. Most individuals have little or no memory of anything that happened to them before the age of five or six, even very traumatic events. However, studies have shown that we have vast amounts of data stored and hidden in our brains. Neurosurgeons discovered this while performing brain surgery on patients under local anesthesia. When parts of their brain were stimulated with weak electrical currents, the patients were suddenly able to recall hundreds of long-forgotten episodes from childhood in vivid detail.

Not all of these episodes are recorded with the same intensity though. The most vivid impressions seem to be the ones we formed of our caretakers early in life. And of all the interactions we had with these people, the ones that were most deeply etched in our subconscious were the ones that were the most wounding because these encounters seemed to threaten our very existence. Over time the pieces of information about our caretakers merged to form a single image and were stored under one heading: the person responsible our survival.

People have strong tendencies to be romantically attracted to another person based on how well that person matches the imago. The brain analyzes a persons’ traits and compares that with the rich data bank of information and if there is a strong correlation, there is a resultant attraction. We unconsciously compare everyone we meet to our imago and when there is a close match, we feel a sudden surge of interest.

As is typical with the unconscious mind, we have no real awareness of this imago matching process. The only way we can usually catch a glimpse of our imago is in dreams. In dreams, we have a tendency to merge people together. Thus, you may have a dream in which your spouse suddenly metamorphosed into one of your parents or during a dream your spouse and a parent played such similar roles that they became virtually indistinguishable.

However, performing certain exercises under the guidance of a qualified therapist can help to reveal the characteristics of a persons’ imago. By comparing the dominant character traits of ones’ spouse with those of ones’ primary caretakers, a person can readily observe the correlation that the unconscious mind draws between them. The imago is very much like a silhouette with few distinguishing physical characteristics but with the combined character traits of all of ones’ primary caretakers.

Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Marriage Councelor

MONOGAMY seems to be the word for all seasons. And the fact that its definition is continuously stretched to accommodate the changing morality of the times is par for the course. The latest addendum in the monogamy lexicon is ‘managed monogamy’, which is all about being together long-term, but allowing yourself and your spouse ‘other’ sexual encounters. In this age of ‘open’ and ‘transparent’ relationships, New Age couples are defining their out-of-marriage encounters as part of managed monogamy, where the spouse approves all external romantic and sexual encounters.

According to a report in The New York Metro, couples shouldn’t take monogamy for granted. Instead, they should take the urge to stray for granted. For couples who want to be in the ‘happily-ever-after’ category, this is the new truth, the report reiterates. Managed monogamy or this new monogamy follows the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell policy’ where you know what your spouse is doing, but you can happily do without knowing the gory details.

Managed monogamy is rampant not only in big cities but in small towns as well. One spouse doesn’t hide his or her attractions or sexual encounters from the other. It’s a positive trend, as it allows couples to look at the inadequacies in their relationship and seek sexual and romantic partners who can fulfil them. The problem arises at a later stage, when feelings of guilt and jealousy emerge.

Old-fashioned monogamists may recoil with shock at the emergence and acceptance of this new monogamy, which endorses the ‘death-do-us-apart’ belief, except every weekend, when you might want to have some fun with that hot babe or guy. Like Judy Gaman, 32, an architect, and her 35-year-old journalist husband, John Pico, both of whom practise managed monogamy. Says Judy, “We’ve been married for six years now. Yes, I’m having an affair with my colleague. I discussed this with my husband and he’s okay about my dating this guy. John has a crush of his own, so he’s actually quite preoccupied with her. We both understand our ‘other’ attractions as for us it is a mutual decision to date other people and yet remain married to each other.”

However, one wonders whether this new, managed monogamy spells a threat to the traditional bonds of marriage. On this account, we’re not emotionless. When we flirt and get physical with other people, we bond with them somewhere. And when that bond makes you start questioning your primary relationship – your marriage – then it becomes a threat.

Couples who follow this new monogamy don’t describe this emotion as ‘cheating, as for them, cheating is a secret romantic or sexual activity. Most couples explain that they’re switching to managed monogamy as short-term adventure will prevent them from straying away forever. There’s a lot of stress being with just one person. So, couples seek permission of their spouses to date others.

It seems, even in its mildest form, managed monogamy is about joking about your other temptations with your partner. For instance, London based Don and Laura Jones often tease each other about their attractions in their respective workplaces. “We talk about our attractions. We’ll have a three-week affair, some adventure in our lives… But then, we come back home and talk about it. And these days, couples discuss the concept of monogamy before they tie the knot. Everyone likes the idea of an open marriage, even though it is tough not to get jealous.

Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and marriage counselor who offers free marriage advice for common marriage problems and healthy relationship tips to help save your marriage from divorce.

Las Vegas is the wedding capital of the world, yet no books tell us what wording to use on a Las Vegas wedding invitation, until now. An e-book titled “101 Las Vegas Wedding Invitation Wording Ideas” has just been released.

The new Las Vegas wedding invitation book features 13 pages of jam packed wedding invitation verses specifically for couples getting married in Las Vegas.

The Las Vegas wedding book was released on September 10th with a promise from its author to write a second one.

The second Las Vegas wedding e-book will be released next spring with even more Las Vegas style wedding invitation verses.

The author, VegasWedlock Invitations, is the largest retailer of Las Vegas wedding invitations in the world and they realize the large demand for the Las Vegas wedding wording help since no other company has released such an e-book.

Also, VegasWedlock is offering a $5.00 discount on future orders of any professionally printed Las Vegas wedding invitation when someone purchases the e-book.

The Las Vegas wedding e-book comes in a PDF format, easily read by anyone who owns Adobe Reader or their Internet browser has PDF capabilities.

Here are a few examples from the e-book of Las Vegas wedding invitation verses:

Verse: VW1
We’ve rolled the dice and hit lucky number 7
So we’re being married in Las Vegas!
BRIDE
and
GROOM
DATE
LOCATION
Las Vegas, Nevada

Verse: VW2
What happens in Las Vegas …
Stays in our hearts
Join us in Las Vegas!
BRIDE
Daughter of Bride’s parents
and
GROOM
DATE
TIME
LOCATION
Las Vegas, Nevada

Verse: VW3
It could have been the time,
Maybe it was the place
We thought you should
Know in any case
We,
BRIDE
and
Groom
were married
DATE
LOCATION
in Las Vegas, Nevada

Verse: VW4
We’ve Eloped!
for further details
you must attend a
Dinner celebration in our honor
DATE
TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE

NAMES

Mr. and Mrs. NAMES

Verse: VW4
A Las Vegas weekend turned into
the perfect place to say
“I do”
So We did!

Announcing the marriage of
BRIDE
and
GROOM
on DATE
LOCATION
CITY, STATE

Verse: VW5
… and they lived happily Elvis after!

Announcing the union of
BRIDE
and
GROOM
on DATE
LOCATION
CITY, STATE

“101 Las Vegas Wedding Invitation Wording Ideas” can be purchased exclusively at VegasWedlock and can be found online at vegaswedlockinvitations (dot) com.

More free examples of Las Vegas wedding invitation wording can also be found on VegasWedlocks Web site.

VegasWedlock has the largest selecetion of Las Vegas wedding invitations with over 200 Las Vegas themed wedding invitations available.

Find http://www.lvweddingmusic.com