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While no one wants their marriage to fail, did you know that there are actually quantifiable reasons for staying with your spouse? In case you need help deciding whether to stay married or not, here are the facts:

#1 Married people are happier

In recent studies, scientists founds that married couples suffer from less depression than their unmarried counterparts. And this even takes into consideration those couples that are living together and not married. Being in a committed relationship with each other is not enough, but showing that commitment to friends, family, and the wedding DJ seems to make the bond all the more important.

#2 Married couples are more productive

While the case could be made that two people can always get more done than one, married couples seem to enjoy exploring their interests more than singles and unmarried couples. Maybe its because youve set up long term goals and thinking that guides you through the day to day, or maybe it could be because youre both challenging each other to be better – in either case, married couples just seem to get more done.

#3 Married couples learn better

Studies have shown that married couples tend to retain new knowledge longer than single or married couples. It would seem that the calmer state of the brain is more conducive to learning. And since you have someone to remind you of what youve forgotten, its a lot easier to keep those important facts in your head.

#4 Married couples are less stressed

When you have someone that is constantly supporting you and cares about how youre doing, this support system helps to buoy you in times of stress. Being able to laugh with each other and help each other helps the stressful times seem all the less, well, stressful.

#5 Married couples are healthier overall

Because of the reduced stress and increased support system, married couples tend to have fewer health problems than their married counterparts. They have fewer colds and other minor illnesses. Without the constant strain of a commitment thats sort of hazy, married couples can fight off germs and bacteria.

#6 Married couples live longer

With the increased health and ability to ward off stress, married couples tend to live longer than their unmarried counterparts. Married couples are more long term thinking and this allows them to have a more positive outlook on life and whatever is thrown at them. Even couples with long term illnesses or other stressors seem to be able to live longer than is normal.

#7 Married couples are richer

Of course, having two people in any relationship will make a couple richer, but married couples are more diligent about planning for long term goals which can lead to more stable financial results. They invest together, plan together, work together to create a retirement that will allow them to enjoy each others company long into the twilight of their lives.

#8 Married couples fight smarter

No couple is without fights or disagreements, but married couples have a more relaxed approach about getting past arguments and getting over them. The long term commitment allows them to realize that not everything is as important ‘right now”as it seems, and that most problems can blow over without too much incident.

#9 Married couples have better sex

While stereotypes might have you believe otherwise, married couples truly do have a more varied an enjoyable sex life. They tend to experiment to keep things exciting and they are focused more on the pleasure of their partner than of themselves.

#10 Married couples are more fit

Married couples have a built in workout partner and someone who will help them watch what they eat. This support system leads to an overall better outlook on fitness and health, which leads to a fitter lifestyle. Though slips in eating and exercise can affect both partners, its much more likely that married couples will get back up from their discretions and find the support to regain control of their health.

Being married isnt just the dream of the white wedding; its what happens after the guests leave and the wrapping paper has been thrown away.

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The bridal shower is traditionally a day that celebrates the bride and the beginning of her new life. The shower is usually hosted by the maid or matron of honor or a close relative and organized by the bridesmaids. As a group, the bridesmaids and maid or matron of honor decide on the dè(c)cor, food, games, and location of the event.

Bridal showers range from extremely luxurious to sweet and simple. In general, guests should include the mothers of the bride and groom; the sisters of the bride and groom, and all of her intimate friends. The most important person to think about is the bride, and what she would like or want, because the bridal shower is her day to celebrate the beginning of a new life with those closest to her.

Bridal shower ideas
There are a number of ways to hold a bridal shower, but before you do, think about how many guests will be coming, if it will be formal or informal, and the bride’s likes and dislikes. Some examples of ideas for bridal showers include:

- Bridal shower luncheon;

- Catered party;

- Shower potluck;

- Pool party;

- Dinner;

- House party.

Bridal shower favors
Bridal shower favors are one of the best ways to thank guests who come to a bridal shower. From personalized chocolate bars s to sterling heart bottle toppers, there are fun gifts that will suit everyone and every budget. With the wide variety of choices available, you’re probably wondering what to choose; here are some ideas to start with:

- Bath or soap sets;

- Sterling silver compacts;

- Customized personal luggage tags;

- Wine;

- Edibles like personalized chocolate bars, mints, and other sweets;

- Bookmarks;

- Pink and black lace potpourri sets;

- Key chains;

- Lip butter or lip gloss;

- Manicure sets;

- Sterling silver compacts;

- Wine bottle openers, charms, and stoppers;

- Candles.

Bridal shower games
Bridal games are a great way to liven up a bridal shower and break the ice. You can make up games or play some wonderful classics. Remember that one of the greatest aspects of bridal games is that it helps people relax and interact more; this is especially important if you have a group of people unfamiliar with each other. Here are a few ideas for possible bridal games and activities:

- Bridal bingo (available at wedding stores like americanbridal.com);

- Scrap booking. Make it extra special by having everyone bring favorite picture or memento of the bride;

- Bride trivia games like guessing games, memory games, quizzes, and much more. These can be either written or verbal; whatever’s going to create the most fun, relaxed, engaging atmosphere.

Regardless of your budget make this day a special as you can for the bride to be in your life. Find all of your bridal shower needs at one place, AmericanBridal.com.

Most brides can quickly end up spending thousands of dollars for one special day in their life. This is fin and you want everything to be the absolutely magical for your wedding. However if there are some ways to save money then why not? It is always great to save money and still look great. Cheap bridal shoes are a good way to cut costs.

Cheap bridal shoes do not have to look cheap, old fashioned or out of style. There are where you can purchase elegant but cheap wedding shoes if you only know where to look.

Great Sources For Cheap Bridal Shoes

There are numerous ways to find cheap bridal shoes. Two of the best ways are to look at local bridal shops and at department stores. They often offer cheap bridal shoes with designer inspired styles.

For example if you are looking for a great pair of Vera Wang bridal shoes why not look at department stores. Often they will carry a wide variety of Vera Wang inspired shoes. These will be made by other manufacturers many you have probably never heard of. However for many the name of the shoe makes matter less then the design. So if you are looking for a great design but cheaper wedding shoe then a Vera Wang inspired shoe is a great way to go.

Macys is a great department store to try. They often carry a wide variety of designs by lesser known manufacturers but will be able to pass the savings on to you. Keep in mind that they are somewhat limited and you might not find the hottest Jimmy Choo designer wedding shoe but you can often find something that will work for your situation.

Cheap bridal shoes can be found at many different stores in a variety of styles if you do some work and look hard to find the best deals. You can often find peep-toe, ankle strap, pumps and sandals in various colors and styles. You can also purchase a pair of dyeable cheap bridal shoes if you want the color of the shoe to match a certain color used in your wedding.

When To Shop For Cheap Bridal Shoes

Knowing where to shop is half the battle and a great way to get discounted brial shoes. However if you want the best quality and true rock bottom prices then you have to not only know where to shop but when to shop also. You can often find your discount bridal shoes for the best possible price when you know the specific month when they will be on sale.

You can often simply ask at your local bridal shop when the shoes go on sale. Generally speaking however there are certain times of year when the shoes go on sale. For example often in the month of January after the holiday season shoes will go on sale. Then again in October a few weeks after the back to school rush. However just to be sure and know your particular location it cant hurt to ask.

Also you want to understand how season inventory works. All clothing inventory is seasonal and changes with the four seasons. For example an open toe bridal sandal is going to look kind of strange in the middle of winter. So often at the end of a season as the new clothes hit the market stores are forced to sell off their existing inventory to make way for the new shoes. So if you are having a wedding in the late Spring then this year right after that time passes go in a snag a good deal on heavily discounted designer inspired bridal shoes. If you are have a winter wedding then go in late August and pick up a great deal on your wedding shoes.

There are a lot of different ways to save big money on your wedding shoes and if they look almost the same as the more expensive version then why not save the extra buck. It always helps a new struggling family out to have a little extra money for the things ahead…

Free 5 day Wedding Planning email course – Get it Now! Learn more aboutCheap Bridal Shoes

Anger can be extremely destructive in a relationship. It can have equally negative consequences whether it is acted out upon or repressed. A marriage counsellor must seek effective methods to deal with the issue of anger to assist couples in their quest to develop a loving, supportive and long-lasting relationship.

When anger is expressed, it can leave the person on the receiving end feeling traumatized even when there is no physical violence involved. An interesting phenomenon is that the person who demonstrated the rage also feels assaulted. This is due to the workings of the unconscious mind that perceives all actions as directed toward oneself. Therefore, when we inflict pain upon our partners, we also hurt ourselves. It then follows that anger has a definite negative effect on a relationship. Partners simply have a difficult time establishing intimacy because their safety feels threatened.

Repressed anger can have equally devastating effects as expressed anger. Often, repression can lead to an empty marriage, especially when one’s anger is turned inward and manifests itself as depression. An example of this will serve to illustrate this point. Let’s say that an individual has an older sibling that was very rebellious and hostile during their youth and as a result was constantly being severely punished. The individual associated expressing anger with being punished and therefore repressed anger and hid it from their parents and, later in life, from their spouse.

This same individual ended up playing the role of the “good child” during childhood who never raised a fuss about anything. This served a purpose in childhood, but later in life, this adaptation became very damaging in a marriage. The constant hiding of anger extended itself to the person feeling that they must also suppress their sexuality and other forms of excitement because this heightened activity and energy felt threatening.

The turning inward of anger into depression left the individuals’ partner feeling unsatisfied and searching for fulfillment of desires outside of marriage. A marriage counsellor could do well here to help the repressed individual get in touch with their anger and pain and express it in a meaningful way in a supportive environment.

It is often difficult for people to deal with their hidden anger and pain. For most of us, we learned during childhood that anger is a bad thing and we were punished or criticized for it. We were left with the option to express it and face the consequences or to keep it inside where it wouldn’t do us or anyone else any harm. However, when we chose to dampen our anger, we also chose to dampen our capacity to love because love and anger are two sides of the same coin. They are both related to our life energy or life force. When we feel love our life force flourishes; when we feel rage, we experience our life energy as being cut off or stunted.

Anger is therefore an essential expression of our life energy and when we repress this, we become depressed or live a pale, muted existence. However, we are liable to harm ourselves and others if we act on our anger. Containment is a process that allows us to release our anger without hurting our loved ones. A therapist can assist a person to let loose of anger in small, controlled amounts in a safe environment and help to turn it back to its original, positive life-giving form.

Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Marriage Councelor

Youve done everything it takes to get your own game together, and youve been a man or woman who deserves what you want for sometime now. In fact, youve found a partner as terrific as you are, and the question has inevitably surfaced: Is it time to “pop the question” around here?

I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough time ruminating upon what it really takes to consider a decision to make marriage plans. And make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of thought that should go on long before you are ever in the position to actually act upon what you think and / or feel.

Indeed, getting engaged should never be a “knee-jerk” decision. In fact, nothing involving “jerks” of any kind should ever be a consideration.

So whether you are in a serious relationship right now or not, lets consider the top ten signs to look for when considering marriage:

1) You are attracted to each other

First, you absolutely, positively must be sexually attracted to the object of your affection. This is NOT being shallow, as weve discussed previously. Dont you appreciate how I freely endorse making this a priority? Thought so. Feel better now? LOL

2) You actually like each other

Laugh if you will, but Ive seen first-hand how couples justify long-term relationships despite getting on each others nerves big time. I personally dont get it, and if you deserve what you want I surely hope you dont want that.

3) Youve spent enough time together to really know each other

Lets not talk in terms of calendar time here. If a couple is in a long-distance-relationship (LDR) for two years and see each other once a month for two days, they may see each other about as much as a couple who lives two blocks apart and has been joined at the hip since they met a month ago. When you know that youve seen the person at his or her most relaxed (and at his or her worst, for that matter), then and only then are you in a position to speculate regarding what the future really holds.

4) You are on the same page spiritually

Dont underestimate the importance of this. If you believe that God should be at the center of your relationship, it can only be that way if your would-be partner agrees. If this hasnt been talked about yet, make it a priority to do so. Even if you are both agnostic or atheist, for that matter, its still a good idea to discuss your world views and make sure you are in agreement on what your core beliefs are.

5) Your long-term goals are similar

If your futures are taking you in different directions, either someone is going to have to compromise, or your futures dont have each other in them. Period.

6) You know how to play together

Sure, she goes shoe shopping while he watches the NFL. But do you know how to enjoy leisure time together? Were not just talking about sex here? I always thought it would be amazing to find a woman who would want to go BMX racing with me. As it turns out, that wasnt so farfetched. Couples who play together stay together.

7) You both want to be married

Do both of you really desire marriage? If you feel you are trying to persuade someone out of the single life who still wants to be there then guess what…you are not making valuable use of your time.

The basics in your lives are handled

Are you mentally and physically healthy? Is your self-esteem in good shape? If you carry heavy concerns that consume you, its not time to invite someone else into your world permanently. After all, that would only give your heavy concerns someone else to consume. And thats not part of a balanced relationship.

9) You have no doubt in your mind that your partner is committed to you as you are to him/her

Ah yes…the “trust” factor. Kill all jealousy in order to ready yourself for a committed relationship. And make darn skippy sure thats okay to do. If there are signs your future husband or wife would cheat on you, then forgettaboutit. Really.

10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are committed to your partner as he/she is to you

Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely sure you are trustworthy? Do you harbor fantasies about cheating on your future spouse? If you are focusing too much on someone else-especially if that “someone else” is potentially available to you, then my suggestion is to get that resolved before feigning “commitment” to someone who would be truly committed to you.

Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or not is okay. One should never feel pressured either way. The framework for a solid marriage with a great long-term prognosis can only be established when both partners truly want to be there…and believe wholeheartedly in both the future and in each other.

After all, isnt that what love is for?

Copyright 2006 X and Y Communications

Want to hear more? Scot McKay is a dating coach in San Antonio, TX and founder of X and Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the new book “Deserve What You Want”, and hosts the popular podcast series “X and Y On The Fly”. He may be reached at [email protected] or on the Web at http://www.dating-advice.us/ and http://www.romantic-dinner.com . The podcast series is available free of charge at http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly .

Having a complete guest list for both the bride and groom is an essential part of your wedding plans. When preparing your guest list be sure to invite everyone you want to be part of your exceptional day.

It has been a long time wedding tradition to send out invitations so your friends and loved ones know you are inviting then to be a part of your special day. They will also feel priviledged that you thought to include them.

Modern wedding invitations have become a huge part of the wedding. If details are neglected it shows careless wedding planning.

Here is useful information for those who want helpful tips.

1. When sending out your invitations, you should include a reply card.

The purpose for sending out wedding invitations is that you get an approximate count of guests that will attend your wedding. So having the reply card makes it easy for the guests to RSVP.

2. On your invitation be sure you are clear on what type of setting you are planning.

Weddings are usually planned as a formal event, however on many occasions the couple chooses to have a casual setting. So it is important to let your guest know what to expect so they to can plan ahead.

Another important factor to include is the dress code. Most guests appreciate knowing what you expect so they can be prepared before the wedding date.

3. If you are planning a more intimate wedding you may want to have personalized invitations.

When inviting only family and your closest friends it may be better to create your own invitations.Wedding invitations can be expensive so when working on a budget, if only a small amount of invitations are needed you may consider making your own.

4. When choosing your invitations you can include the colors of your wedding to be more creative.

You can not go wrong with white wedding invitations it seems to never go out of style. You may want to include the color of your wedding or colors that reflects your personality as a couple.

5.When choosing a design for your invitations you and your partners tastes should be considered.

For many years the traditional wedding invitations with bows, ribbons and flowers were considered as great designs however it can also be seen as dull, boring and lifeless.

You need to include the personal touch of you and your partner. Include a modern design which you both can agree on.

Wedding invitations are not like birthday invitations they have alot of meaning behind them.They allow your guests to see a part of you and your partners thoughts and ideas. It also lets them know that you want them to share in your special day.

Remember it is your way to tell the whole world how excited you are to spend the rest of your life with your very special someone. It is also your way for everyone to know just how much you love your lifemate.

To find more great wedding tips please visit: www.myweddingplans.net

MONOGAMY seems to be the word for all seasons. And the fact that its definition is continuously stretched to accommodate the changing morality of the times is par for the course. The latest addendum in the monogamy lexicon is ‘managed monogamy’, which is all about being together long-term, but allowing yourself and your spouse ‘other’ sexual encounters. In this age of ‘open’ and ‘transparent’ relationships, New Age couples are defining their out-of-marriage encounters as part of managed monogamy, where the spouse approves all external romantic and sexual encounters.

According to a report in The New York Metro, couples shouldn’t take monogamy for granted. Instead, they should take the urge to stray for granted. For couples who want to be in the ‘happily-ever-after’ category, this is the new truth, the report reiterates. Managed monogamy or this new monogamy follows the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell policy’ where you know what your spouse is doing, but you can happily do without knowing the gory details.

Managed monogamy is rampant not only in big cities but in small towns as well. One spouse doesn’t hide his or her attractions or sexual encounters from the other. It’s a positive trend, as it allows couples to look at the inadequacies in their relationship and seek sexual and romantic partners who can fulfil them. The problem arises at a later stage, when feelings of guilt and jealousy emerge.

Old-fashioned monogamists may recoil with shock at the emergence and acceptance of this new monogamy, which endorses the ‘death-do-us-apart’ belief, except every weekend, when you might want to have some fun with that hot babe or guy. Like Judy Gaman, 32, an architect, and her 35-year-old journalist husband, John Pico, both of whom practise managed monogamy. Says Judy, “We’ve been married for six years now. Yes, I’m having an affair with my colleague. I discussed this with my husband and he’s okay about my dating this guy. John has a crush of his own, so he’s actually quite preoccupied with her. We both understand our ‘other’ attractions as for us it is a mutual decision to date other people and yet remain married to each other.”

However, one wonders whether this new, managed monogamy spells a threat to the traditional bonds of marriage. On this account, we’re not emotionless. When we flirt and get physical with other people, we bond with them somewhere. And when that bond makes you start questioning your primary relationship – your marriage – then it becomes a threat.

Couples who follow this new monogamy don’t describe this emotion as ‘cheating, as for them, cheating is a secret romantic or sexual activity. Most couples explain that they’re switching to managed monogamy as short-term adventure will prevent them from straying away forever. There’s a lot of stress being with just one person. So, couples seek permission of their spouses to date others.

It seems, even in its mildest form, managed monogamy is about joking about your other temptations with your partner. For instance, London based Don and Laura Jones often tease each other about their attractions in their respective workplaces. “We talk about our attractions. We’ll have a three-week affair, some adventure in our lives… But then, we come back home and talk about it. And these days, couples discuss the concept of monogamy before they tie the knot. Everyone likes the idea of an open marriage, even though it is tough not to get jealous.

Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and marriage counselor who offers free marriage advice for common marriage problems and healthy relationship tips to help save your marriage from divorce.